Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize