I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Randomize
