I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
