He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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