whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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