the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
