Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
