the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
