He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
