Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Randomize
