I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
