we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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