just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Randomize
