fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
