With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
