stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
