You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
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