My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
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