The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
