so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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