I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
