Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Text me some of your sweat
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