I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
