i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
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