this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
