i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Randomize