I didn't shave. On purpose
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
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