OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
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