He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
