I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize