So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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