Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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