You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
