I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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