We won't sleep together?
Well douche your snatch and let's go!
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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