HIV tests are more positive than that guy
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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