Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
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