Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
