so I'm never txting u again after today...
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
25 Times Terrible Advice Was Given To A Teenager
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.