i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
23 Insane Reasons People Got Fired
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
These 31 Gross People Really Put The ‘Trash’ In ‘Trashed’
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.