I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.