Texts From Last Night

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  (302): View more from Delaware

  She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.

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  (302): She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god. http://tfl.nu/566r
  Replies (25) Good night (5060) Bad night (565)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?

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  (859): Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration? http://tfl.nu/14rv
  Replies (13) Good night (765) Bad night (5783)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut

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  (205): Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut http://tfl.nu/pdjw
  Replies (68) Good night (1117) Bad night (5555)
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  (225): View more from Louisiana

  We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.

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  (225): We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed. http://tfl.nu/eoiy
  Replies (24) Good night (1446) Bad night (5467)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer

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  (732): just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer http://tfl.nu/hop7
  Replies (25) Good night (6600) Bad night (1325)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.

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  (519): Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die. http://tfl.nu/wxg3
  Replies (21) Good night (5733) Bad night (1183)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night

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  (505): You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night http://tfl.nu/jwrk
  Replies (14) Good night (4625) Bad night (938)
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  (619): View more from California

  Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.

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  (619): Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer. http://tfl.nu/flbo
  Replies (17) Good night (2511) Bad night (1132)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.

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  (412): I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket. http://tfl.nu/hou4
  Replies (7) Good night (1446) Bad night (1114)
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  (310): View more from California

  I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle

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  (310): I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle http://tfl.nu/8b8w
  Replies (6) Good night (1344) Bad night (578)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER

  (1-610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm officially in the Christmas spirit

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  (610): THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER (1-610): I'm officially in the Christmas spirit http://tfl.nu/grxs
  Replies (5) Good night (1047) Bad night (431)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.

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  (513): Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs. http://tfl.nu/km54
  Replies (1) Good night (1008) Bad night (398)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.

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  (202): She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning. http://tfl.nu/4ygc
  Replies (9) Good night (1386) Bad night (740)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard

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  (416): You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard http://tfl.nu/zjmt
  Replies (3) Good night (729) Bad night (369)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.

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  (603): Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number. http://tfl.nu/50et
  Replies (8) Good night (393) Bad night (852)

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