do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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