Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
