Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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