No awkward lesbian experiences without me
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
drinking out of a sandbucket again
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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