i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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