Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
