ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
