Having a random hookup so left but love u
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
