I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
