new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
