my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
