and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
