But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
