My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
