well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
