perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
this is an emotional support booty call
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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