I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Randomize
