I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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