do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
