my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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