break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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