And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Randomize
