I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
