So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
