Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Randomize
