Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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