this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
